Family
9 ways to stay close to long-distance grandparents
Distance doesn't end a grandparent's relationship with a grandchild, but it does stop it happening by accident. There's no dropping in. Everything has to be arranged, so the families that stay close are the ones with habits.
1. A fixed call
The same day and time each week. Children accept it like bath night, and grandparents plan their week around it. Short and regular beats long and occasional.
2. Give the call something to do
Small children can't make conversation on a screen. Give them a job: show Grandma the drawing, read Grandad a page, eat breakfast together while they have their evening tea.
3. A bedtime story over video
The grandparent has a copy of the book, the child has a copy, and they turn the pages together. It's ten minutes and it becomes the thing they do.
4. Post
Children love getting letters, and grandparents love sending them. A postcard a month in each direction costs almost nothing. For the youngest, a drawing in an envelope counts.
5. Photos they can hold
Grandparents are often left out of where family photos actually live: the group chat. Print a few and post them, or make a book the whole family adds to, printed near where they live so it arrives in days.
6. A shared project
Grow the same seeds in both gardens. Do the same jigsaw. Follow the same team. It gives every call a first question.
7. Their voice in the house
Ask them to record themselves reading a story or singing the song they sang to you. Play it at bedtime.
8. Put visits in the calendar early
A visit that's booked is something to look forward to for months. Tell the children how many sleeps.
9. Teach the words
If grandparents speak another language, the name they're called by is the first word of it. Use it at home. Put it on the cover of the book.
Across time zones
Work out the two or three hours of the day that are civil at both ends and protect them. Weekend mornings on one side and weekend evenings on the other usually works between Europe and Australasia.
Ask the grandparents what they'd like. Some want a daily photo. Some would rather have one proper call a week than ten interruptions.